My grandparents have been married for 50 years this year. I’m sure a lot of grandparents have remained married, but in a culture where divorce is more prevalent and breakups are witnessed on a daily basis, reflecting on my grandparents’ legacy of family was refreshing for me.

My grandparents have personalities. Well, that would be obvious to everyone now, wouldn’t it? But when you’re little, you don’t realize that the people around you have individual personalities – quirks, -isms, desirable qualities, and tendencies. And I’m fairly certain the farthest thing from my mind as an eleven-year-old was my grandparents’ personalities – even though I undoubtedly have parts of each. But they have them. I specifically remember, as a preteen, deciding to spend a few days at my dad’s apartment with them while they visited. Those few days opened my eyes to who my grandparents really were – as people, not as grandparents.

My grandfather (Poppa, if you must know), I discovered, has a sense of humor. While I always thought he was just as happy as the next person when I was young, I started to realize his particular niche of humor edged with a little bit of sarcasm. Once I was dialed into it, I found a lot more that he said to be funny and as I’ve gotten older. I realize I jive with it more now that I also have a tinge of sarcasm.

What else? He is very wise. As my step-mom and aunt were arranging this 50th anniversary celebration for them, they asked all of us to write a message. In my message, I told about the immense effect my grandfather had and has on us every Christmas. Each year, he has gathered us all up and shown us the Christmas story in a new way. Some years, there have been manipulatives, pictures, once a story he read, but every year, Jesus’ name is lifted high and he makes sure that he sets the tone for the holiday by reminding us what it’s about. How incredible that is, and I have barely ever noticed. My grandfather is the head of our family, and he leads with grace wisdom, and a love for life and what he does.

My grandmother cares deeply. She has always given of her time and her affection to us every minute we are with her. I’ve seen some grandparents grown distant with their families as they age, but mine haven’t. You can tell from being around her, she desires to show us how much she loves us. She asks questions about our lives, shows interest in who we are and what we want, and spends the time to get to know us each year as we grow up. When we were little, my grandma used to always tell my sister and I that we would be so important to each other someday, that a relationship between sisters is precious. Well, at the age of 8 when Kaitlyn was still kicking me at night in the bed we shared and stealing the spotlight as the cutest child – I was appalled at such a statement. Surprise, surprise, she was right. And I learned early on to cherish the relationship I have with my sister and to value it for what it was but also to see it for what it will be.

Each is very special to me, but my grandparents as a couple have shaped our family in miraculous ways – they’ve raised their children who in turn, have raised my siblings, cousins, and I to be God-honoring people. What an incredible legacy to leave. At one point during the 50th anniversary party, my grandfather looked around and commented, Well, without us you all wouldn’t even be here! That hit me. Without them, without their marriage, without their love for God, my dad wouldn’t be here, my dad may have never met the Lord, my siblings and I wouldn’t be here, my aunt or cousins wouldn’t be here. What an incredulous thought.

I want what they have – the longevity of a marriage that lasts through decades and practices a grace-filled walk with the Lord. One way I’ve always wanted to live my life is to be an extravagant giver. It’s not about being rich; I want to be able to give what I can all the time. I want to be able to supply needs as God has provided ours, to ease stress, to bless people, and to help whenever we can. And a few years ago, I began to see how much my grandparents give.

When Kaitlyn, Noah, and I were little – we’d go walk around yard sales with my grandma, patrolling for deals on toys, games, and jewelry always, my grandma would pass us a loonie or a toonie or a few quarters so we could shop around. My grandfather would take us to the zoo with this awesome zip line and he when we’d want to feed the animals, quarters would come out of nowhere to buy handfuls of food.

When Christmas rolls around and my grandparents come down from Canada – big plastic Tupperware containers are unloaded from the bed of the truck with presents collected all year round. My dad told me stories about when he needed help after college and his parents would send him money to pay for his bills, groceries, and things he needed. If our toes were cold, immediately socks were provided and the next shopping trip would involve getting a pair of slippers to supply for the need.

Every time we would go to visit, there would be rolls of Mentos mints waiting for us (I don’t know why, but we thought these only existed in Canada, and furthermore, they were the best things on earth). So, you see, whether it was twenty five cents here, an extra blanket in winter here, a hundred dollars there, a coat on a cold morning there, forty eight dollars here, they have always been givers. Let me be clear, I don’t say this to make it out like my family is or always has been rich in society’s sense – we haven’t. I say it to show the heart behind giving.

It is to supply a need, grant a hope, relieve a stress, help, bless. And my grandparents have always done that. And in great capacity.

At their party, my aunt and step mom had arranged for their friends in England to Skype with them as a surprise. I knew that my grandparents used to live in Wales and had a family they were close to there, but I never knew the extent to which I’d find out later that day. My grandma would show me pictures of them and their children and tell stories about how they pastored the church they attended – I never thought much of it.
After being so excited to hear from their dear friends, Skype was turned off and the party went on. However, later at my dad’s house, they started talking about their relationship with this family.

I won’t go into too much detail, but I will say this – my grandparents supplied a need for this family. Actually, they supplied many. It was never a matter of much money, it was never an act for show, it was merely them seeing a hole and deciding to fill it, following God’s nudge to be the ones to fill it.

I can’t even describe the depth of meaning in the tiny acts my grandparents did while knowing this pastor, his wife, and children. I had never heard a word about any of this until that day where they were sharing these stories.

I had always known that my grandparents were generous and always willing to give of their time, money, energy, resources, and skills – but this opened my eyes to life and what it actually looks like to give extravagantly. To give of what you have and what you are. That’s the best example.

The legacy of 50 years, this one in particular, is immense.

I was looking through pictures from the party, remembering I still needed to edit them and when I came across these, this experience flooded back to me and I needed to write it down.

Thank you to my grandparents for leading our family with integrity and honor and with giving hearts. I can sincerely say I hope to be like you someday.